I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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