just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
