drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
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