Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
