I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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