you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
They have beer where we have blood.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
