is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I could fuck to npr.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
