Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize