hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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