she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
