the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Randomize
