I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
