If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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