try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
