Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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