I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
