I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
She's not a foreskin expert like you
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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