Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Randomize