i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
My first STD was from a foam party
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
