I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I puked a lego.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize