somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I can't turn off my feet"
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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