On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
