I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
