Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
