is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Green mimosas i think yes
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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