You just made me feel so damn special
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
