i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
