Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize