Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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