fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
