I can tuck mytits in my pants
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
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