Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
