Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
