My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize