I just made out with a guy for $7.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
