its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
being pregnant is like rehab
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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