You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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