he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize
