just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
