you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
