dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Randomize
