Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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