Reggie can tackle my bush.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
