Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
