I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
