somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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