I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
its liver damage thursday
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
