3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize