I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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