dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I wish you could order shots online.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
