Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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