so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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