Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize