its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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