5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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