Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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