Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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