We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
