69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
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