Rock
Scissors
Fuck
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize
