Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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